After re-reading the book "He's Just Not That Into You" for the 3rd time, I really think I should have got it already and honeslty, I did. I'm just probably in denial because I did some of the crazy stuff told in the book, and I regret doing what I did.
Now, and ever since, I don't think some people deserve the attention and/or the feelings that I have for them. It just doesn't make sense to me on how I end up liking people who thinks I don't exist and eventually get hurt for some pathetic reasons! And getting hurt, mind you, is not easy. Even if it gets really unrequitted, I really have this thing of holding-on to someone who was never meant for me. God knows how I tried haggling. It is even an understatement of what really lies within the deepest of my thoughts.
I may have went online and checked if he would send me a messge first, which he didn't, and I have accidentaly sent him a message to see if how late (or soon) he would have replied (it ended up late and sound not interested, you guessed), and some other stupiditites that I did just to slap me with the real score. Taking in every painful information and still hoping he'll come around sounds really hopeless and I am so done with that phase! It's just the falling-for-the-wrong-people-at-the-wrong-time-and-everything-else-is-wrong phase that I am not done yet. It's hard not to fall, really... it's picking up the pieces of a shattered self, heart and soul which is difficult. It's regaining something I lost, something I gave to the wrong person who thinks I am nothing but one of the world's population.
They say learning lessons in a hard way would be best. But among the hardest lessons of all the hard ones, falling in love... or just LOVE, is the hardest lesson to learn. I wish I can just mold someone within my standards so there's no more heartbreak. No more I-don't-exist-in-his-life drama. No more what ifs and no more wishfull thinking. No more of those silly hopes that one day he might notice me. If I can only mold someone to be there for me. That would be easier.
But life ain't easy. It was structured that way. It was created to be a maze of laughter and tears, a jungle of pains, a circus of happiness. It is a combo of everything people would want to experience and at the same time wish they would never experience. It is the most cliché of all the shits around me, around us. But yet, I try to live it the way I would want to live it. The way where there would be some regrets but more of what I would never want to miss while living my life. And loving, it's part of it. It's part of my not-so-perfect life, but the life worth living. And a love worth trying.
Now, and ever since, I don't think some people deserve the attention and/or the feelings that I have for them. It just doesn't make sense to me on how I end up liking people who thinks I don't exist and eventually get hurt for some pathetic reasons! And getting hurt, mind you, is not easy. Even if it gets really unrequitted, I really have this thing of holding-on to someone who was never meant for me. God knows how I tried haggling. It is even an understatement of what really lies within the deepest of my thoughts.
I may have went online and checked if he would send me a messge first, which he didn't, and I have accidentaly sent him a message to see if how late (or soon) he would have replied (it ended up late and sound not interested, you guessed), and some other stupiditites that I did just to slap me with the real score. Taking in every painful information and still hoping he'll come around sounds really hopeless and I am so done with that phase! It's just the falling-for-the-wrong-people-at-the-wrong-time-and-everything-else-is-wrong phase that I am not done yet. It's hard not to fall, really... it's picking up the pieces of a shattered self, heart and soul which is difficult. It's regaining something I lost, something I gave to the wrong person who thinks I am nothing but one of the world's population.
They say learning lessons in a hard way would be best. But among the hardest lessons of all the hard ones, falling in love... or just LOVE, is the hardest lesson to learn. I wish I can just mold someone within my standards so there's no more heartbreak. No more I-don't-exist-in-his-life drama. No more what ifs and no more wishfull thinking. No more of those silly hopes that one day he might notice me. If I can only mold someone to be there for me. That would be easier.
But life ain't easy. It was structured that way. It was created to be a maze of laughter and tears, a jungle of pains, a circus of happiness. It is a combo of everything people would want to experience and at the same time wish they would never experience. It is the most cliché of all the shits around me, around us. But yet, I try to live it the way I would want to live it. The way where there would be some regrets but more of what I would never want to miss while living my life. And loving, it's part of it. It's part of my not-so-perfect life, but the life worth living. And a love worth trying.
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Comments
Posted: Sep 29, 2008
real and hurt in the process of risking my heart! hahaha! thnx guys... ~VC
real and hurt in the process of risking my heart! hahaha! thnx guys... ~VC
Posted: Sep 29, 2008
Life never is easy. But at least you know how to love and survive. Others are too dumb to take a risk and in the process, loose a chance that would have been worth their while.
Life never is easy. But at least you know how to love and survive. Others are too dumb to take a risk and in the process, loose a chance that would have been worth their while.
Posted: Sep 29, 2008
at least you are being real
at least you are being real
